Saturday, August 16, 2014

A Little Humor For Yall

Hello folks,

So as opposed to the normal check up and spill the beans about what's new and all that good stuff, I thought it would be funny to do a humorous post about the comings and goings in Tijuana.

- First off, other American missionaries never realize I'm American. I've been told "Wow your English is really good!" multiple times followed by surprise when I tell them I'm American. I guess I must look Mexican to your average run of the mill American missionary.
- Mexicans tend to know I'm not Mexican, but I've been told multiple times that I look Puerto Rican. Nobody believes me when I tell them my father is black.
- Getting hit on by a cashier at a DQ in a mall when I was out with my buddy one weekend was hilarious. She could tell I was American even though my buddy and I were speaking in Spanish, and she started talking to us in English. Her English was pretty decent, but it was funny because she complimented my eyes, my accent, and asked why I was in Tijuana. Another worker interjected herself into the conversation too although it was clear her English wasn't as good. Good times.
- The teen guys I've become cool with love the black culture they see on Vine and Youtube. I made the unfortunate but hilarious mistake of making a Vine trend called "Smack Cam" popular when I showed them a bunch of smack cam videos. I have to make sure to keep my reputation up since I am the only black person down here. BUT I am still the reigning king of the smack cam here because I got one guy on video with whipped cream. They have also fallen in love with black slang. I've been teaching them some phrases that are common. It's super funny.
- The general surprise/shock when the local population realizes that I'm an American that knows what to do with a soccer ball. Some of the kids are really good but I've done my share of embarrassing people.
- Driving down here is nuts. Even though I learned how to drive in the city its a whole new beast down here. I've driven once down here so far and it was an interesting experience. I'm very lucky I'm not a timid driver. Timid drivers would get eaten alive down here.
- Being single means that all my Mexican buddies in the church are playing match maker with me and their friends. It's quite entertaining.
- Little Caesars pizza tastes the same here. It's great, but what the heck USA?!?! Little Caesars down here has a drive thru! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER USA!
- For the first time in my life I saw a movie before it was released in theaters. Movie piracy down here is no joke. So if you haven't seen the Expendables 3 yet, go see it. It's incredible.
- Tacos. Until you've had tacos on the street in Mexico, you haven't had real tacos. You've been lied to. Tacos down here are super delicious. They keep joking with me, at least I think they are, that some of the meat is from stray dogs. Whatever it is its delicious so keep it coming.
- On that note, stray dogs are either really friendly or leave you alone. The only crazy dogs I've seen down here are the domesticated ones. And I think it's because they see the ones that are free to do whatever. But there is one dog in my neighborhood that has a bad reputation for killing other strays. It looks like somebody crossed a pitbull with a rottweiler, complete with plenty battle scars to prove he is the baddest. Scary looking dog.
- The police down here are armed to the teeth. They carry big rifles with them wherever they go. Luckily they aren't like American cops that are always in your business, otherwise they would be very intimidating.
- Generally speaking, the rules of the road mean nothing here. Speeding doesn't matter, no one wears seat belts, in fact, I was told its a bad habit to wear them unless you are crossing the border to "the other side". I've also rode in the back of a pickup truck on the highway, stood on the back of a flatbed truck while we drove to pick up supplies for a new church. All sorts of new, probably dangerous experiences.
- I like Mexican Chinese food better than American Chinese food. More flavor, less grease. Sorry to my Chinese friends back in the States or my friends that love Chinese food.
- I still get a kick out of Asians speaking Spanish. It's awesome and their accents are awesome.
- Every Asian is a "chino" to Mexicans. Doesn't matter where you are from. I've been told multiple times that there is no difference between Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, etc. And then I remind them that there is also no difference between Mexicans, Guatemalans (Mexicans do NOT like Guatemalans), Colombians, etc. Let the Latin firey spirit commence! *****Disclaimer***** I do NOT believe that there is no difference between Mexians and other Latinos. It's an example to show them how off their evaluation of Asian people groups is. Try it sometime. Hilarious conversation to have. But I encourage actually knowing the differences between Asian cultures before attempting.

So in general, whether it's playing football in the streets, having hilarious conversations, being mistaken for a Mexican by other Americans or anything for that matter, times are good down here. The Lord is great, and I know without a doubt He brought me down here on purpose. So please keep praying for me and the ministry down here.

Love you guys,
Jordan

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